Sometimes I want to go bury my head. Somedays are worse than others....somedays I want to, as my Mother put it, 'Run away into the Sunset'. I want to take my children with me. Somedays are raw with emotion, this is one of those days. Today I feel cheated. Today I feel hurt. Today I want NOTHING to do with ANYONE. Today I question my decisions that have led me here, and today I regret what can't ever be. I know I am whining. I know I am being selfish, but TODAY....I don't care. Everyone is allowed these moments, right?
'I sad' as my 4 yr old Autistic son would put it. When asked WHY he is sad (he has a hard time still communicating some more abstract thoughts) he replies 'Cause I not happy'. Well said, Baby boy.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Some 'Blogger' I am !
Sorry....I absolutely am horrid at this whole blogging business. I have no excuses, just that I am apparently lazy, LOL.
My parents are coming in 2 days for Thanksgiving!~ YEAH! It would only be better ig my big bad bro Squire was coming also, but at least Christmas (when he IS coming) is not too far away.
In the tradition of Elememtary School Children everywhere, I am going to tell you what I am truly thankful for.
1. I am Thankful for my precious family...Kevin, Xavier & Patton, Mom, Dad & Squire.
2. I am Thankful for the 19 years I got with Brett....(who would have been 28 on this coming Friday...I miss you Brett.)
3. I am Thankful for Edna, Corey, Lindsey & Stefanie. Who could live in a world without tried and true friends?
4. I am Thankful for Starbucks Pumpkin & Gingerbread Lattes. Amen.
5. I am Thankful for restaurants willing to cook my Turkey FOR me (otherwise I am SURE we would be in for this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Spmqbs8YCW8
6. I am Thankful for Spanx. Don't act like you DON'T know what I am talking about!
7. I am Thankful for the Christmas Tree and Lights my husband has ALREADY put up! Yeah~!
8. I am Thankful for Vaseline Lip Therapy *Cherry*. It moves me.
9. I am Thankful for The Hamilton City Pre-school where my son is learning so much.
10. I am Thankful for a God who loves me through the blood......
Happy Thanksgiving!
My parents are coming in 2 days for Thanksgiving!~ YEAH! It would only be better ig my big bad bro Squire was coming also, but at least Christmas (when he IS coming) is not too far away.
In the tradition of Elememtary School Children everywhere, I am going to tell you what I am truly thankful for.
1. I am Thankful for my precious family...Kevin, Xavier & Patton, Mom, Dad & Squire.
2. I am Thankful for the 19 years I got with Brett....(who would have been 28 on this coming Friday...I miss you Brett.)
3. I am Thankful for Edna, Corey, Lindsey & Stefanie. Who could live in a world without tried and true friends?
4. I am Thankful for Starbucks Pumpkin & Gingerbread Lattes. Amen.
5. I am Thankful for restaurants willing to cook my Turkey FOR me (otherwise I am SURE we would be in for this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Spmqbs8YCW8
6. I am Thankful for Spanx. Don't act like you DON'T know what I am talking about!
7. I am Thankful for the Christmas Tree and Lights my husband has ALREADY put up! Yeah~!
8. I am Thankful for Vaseline Lip Therapy *Cherry*. It moves me.
9. I am Thankful for The Hamilton City Pre-school where my son is learning so much.
10. I am Thankful for a God who loves me through the blood......
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
What is Love? Baby don't hurt me.......
To really appreciate this post you need to be humming that and nodding your head to the side to the beat Night at the Roxbury-Style.
OK...I know SOME of you don't know this movie...but MOST do.
It may have been the last Movie my precious sister and I ever watched together....I don't remember. We acted out scenes from it when she came to see me at school my Senior Year I know.... My 5 ft 1 sister tried to carry me, also. She always hugged me and called me Kaleesha. She shared nachos at Rock Bottom with me. She loved Hot Wings and changing her hair color. She loved Night at the Roxbury. She loved me.
Here it is...the meltdown I KNEW would happen but hadn't yet. I am sad yet thrilled that after 8 long/short years I can still feel my loss...her loss so raw and painful. Almost like it happened yesterday.
Did you know that Brett and I look alike? Recently, I got a long bang cut into my hair and some highlights (don't worry...they are subtle)....it SCARED me the first time I looked into the mirror and I saw Brett looking back. Then it comforted me.
8 years ago some punk in a Land Rover stole my baby sister from me. He stole my parents baby girl. He stole Squires sister....my children's crazy Aunt Brett and he stole from the world one of the kindest, full of life people there will ever be. I still hear her laugh in my dreams and I feel her embrace...Brett was cooler than I will ever hope to be. She was compassionate. She was perfectly Brett.
Brett....I miss you more than ever....and this is for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzUqhOT3LKo
OK...I know SOME of you don't know this movie...but MOST do.
It may have been the last Movie my precious sister and I ever watched together....I don't remember. We acted out scenes from it when she came to see me at school my Senior Year I know.... My 5 ft 1 sister tried to carry me, also. She always hugged me and called me Kaleesha. She shared nachos at Rock Bottom with me. She loved Hot Wings and changing her hair color. She loved Night at the Roxbury. She loved me.
Here it is...the meltdown I KNEW would happen but hadn't yet. I am sad yet thrilled that after 8 long/short years I can still feel my loss...her loss so raw and painful. Almost like it happened yesterday.
Did you know that Brett and I look alike? Recently, I got a long bang cut into my hair and some highlights (don't worry...they are subtle)....it SCARED me the first time I looked into the mirror and I saw Brett looking back. Then it comforted me.
8 years ago some punk in a Land Rover stole my baby sister from me. He stole my parents baby girl. He stole Squires sister....my children's crazy Aunt Brett and he stole from the world one of the kindest, full of life people there will ever be. I still hear her laugh in my dreams and I feel her embrace...Brett was cooler than I will ever hope to be. She was compassionate. She was perfectly Brett.
Brett....I miss you more than ever....and this is for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzUqhOT3LKo
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