Forgive me in advance.....

Sometimes I want to go bury my head. Somedays are worse than others....somedays I want to, as my Mother put it, 'Run away into the Sunset'. I want to take my children with me. Somedays are raw with emotion, this is one of those days. Today I feel cheated. Today I feel hurt. Today I want NOTHING to do with ANYONE. Today I question my decisions that have led me here, and today I regret what can't ever be. I know I am whining. I know I am being selfish, but TODAY....I don't care. Everyone is allowed these moments, right?

'I sad' as my 4 yr old Autistic son would put it. When asked WHY he is sad (he has a hard time still communicating some more abstract thoughts) he replies 'Cause I not happy'. Well said, Baby boy.

Some 'Blogger' I am !

Sorry....I absolutely am horrid at this whole blogging business. I have no excuses, just that I am apparently lazy, LOL.

My parents are coming in 2 days for Thanksgiving!~ YEAH! It would only be better ig my big bad bro Squire was coming also, but at least Christmas (when he IS coming) is not too far away.

In the tradition of Elememtary School Children everywhere, I am going to tell you what I am truly thankful for.


1. I am Thankful for my precious family...Kevin, Xavier & Patton, Mom, Dad & Squire.

2. I am Thankful for the 19 years I got with Brett....(who would have been 28 on this coming Friday...I miss you Brett.)

3. I am Thankful for Edna, Corey, Lindsey & Stefanie. Who could live in a world without tried and true friends?

4. I am Thankful for Starbucks Pumpkin & Gingerbread Lattes. Amen.

5. I am Thankful for restaurants willing to cook my Turkey FOR me (otherwise I am SURE we would be in for this:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Spmqbs8YCW8



6. I am Thankful for Spanx. Don't act like you DON'T know what I am talking about!

7. I am Thankful for the Christmas Tree and Lights my husband has ALREADY put up! Yeah~!

8. I am Thankful for Vaseline Lip Therapy *Cherry*. It moves me.

9. I am Thankful for The Hamilton City Pre-school where my son is learning so much.

10. I am Thankful for a God who loves me through the blood......






Happy Thanksgiving!

What is Love? Baby don't hurt me.......

To really appreciate this post you need to be humming that and nodding your head to the side to the beat Night at the Roxbury-Style.


OK...I know SOME of you don't know this movie...but MOST do.


It may have been the last Movie my precious sister and I ever watched together....I don't remember. We acted out scenes from it when she came to see me at school my Senior Year I know.... My 5 ft 1 sister tried to carry me, also. She always hugged me and called me Kaleesha. She shared nachos at Rock Bottom with me. She loved Hot Wings and changing her hair color. She loved Night at the Roxbury. She loved me.


Here it is...the meltdown I KNEW would happen but hadn't yet. I am sad yet thrilled that after 8 long/short years I can still feel my loss...her loss so raw and painful. Almost like it happened yesterday.


Did you know that Brett and I look alike? Recently, I got a long bang cut into my hair and some highlights (don't worry...they are subtle)....it SCARED me the first time I looked into the mirror and I saw Brett looking back. Then it comforted me.

8 years ago some punk in a Land Rover stole my baby sister from me. He stole my parents baby girl. He stole Squires sister....my children's crazy Aunt Brett and he stole from the world one of the kindest, full of life people there will ever be. I still hear her laugh in my dreams and I feel her embrace...Brett was cooler than I will ever hope to be. She was compassionate. She was perfectly Brett.



Brett....I miss you more than ever....and this is for you.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzUqhOT3LKo

I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth~

I promise to blog soon!!!!

Grocery Prices! GRRR........

Ok...so I went and did my dreaded grocery shopping last night after the little darlings were in bed (as opposed to taking the Holy Terrors they tend to be the exact moment one foot crosses the threshhold of the store....TRUST ME).

I don't always buy the EXACT same thing...but I do spend around a certain amount. WHOAH...let me tell you! I was SHOCKED at some of the price differences between last week and this week! A few examples: I buy the Kroger brand cheese (shocked? Don't be....we love it and my kids will actually not eat Kraft!). I buy LOTS of cheese....to the tune of 3 pks. Swiss, 4 pks. Provolone (Xaviers' beloved "circle cheese"), 4-5 bags shredded varieties. Last week...they were $1.88 each. This week:$2.29! $.41 X 12 is nearly $5! Just in CHEESE. The brand of bread we buy used to be $2.69/loaf. It's now $2.89. A Gallon of milk is almost $5!!!!! Thats the KROGER grand of milk.


I remember reading stories about people eating Peanut Butter soup or a pot of beans for days at a time during the Great Depression.....will it get to that for us? I am sorry to be such a Debbie Downer....but GEEZ! We are paying over $4. for a gallon of gas and trust me...we haven't gotten any cost of living raises that would cover it all.

Worried? Yes.

Krispy Kreme!

YUMMMMMMMYYYYYY!



Some of you may know already that one of the last things my precious sister Brett told me before she was killed was: "Whenever you see the Hot N Now sign on at Krispy Kreme, make sure you stop and get some". She actually told me that the night before she died...which is yet another odd forboding of what was to come (thats another post for another time). In any case, I have always of course remembered that and forever more I will associate Brett with Krispy Kremes. Not a bad thing, huh? Winston Salem, NC is the home of Krispy Kreme so I took for granted having them available....we don't have one in the Cincinnati area, so for us it's a hike to get there. This morning I woke up thinking of her so Kevin said to get dressed and off we went! My kids were spellbound by the conveyor belt of doughnuts (ok...so were we, LOL!).


A few Hot n Nows later (and some sprinkles for the kiddies!) and I am pretty sure I can go a few more months without any doughnuts!


This one's for you, Brett! Love, Kalesha (Brett's pet name for her big sis)

It's another Drive-Thru Blogging!

10 NOT-Favorites:

1. Being Fat!

2. Paying Bills

3. Having to take BOTH children to the store AT THE SAME TIME!

4. Cleaning up my house for the 4th time today!

5. Raw onions and any mushrooms! YUCK!

6. Having to explain to everyone at a play area that my monster son (who looks like he is 5 or older) is actually only 3 and has Autism. That can ruin a day for sure.

7. Working with people who don't care...drives me crazy!

8. That I have about 100 auctions to get ready UGH!!!

9. That we still have 2 weeks until we leave for NC!

10. Knowing my mom and dad are lonely....and hundreds of miles apart.










YOUR TURN~

Favorite Things....

1. A Sugar Free Coconut Latte w/ Skim Milk no Whipped Creme from The Daily Grind.

2. My new Cils Booster XL from Lancome! AWESOME! (it's a mascara primer)

3. Sitting on the couch snuggling with Kevin watching Scrubs or That Seventies Show.

4. Sitting with Xavier or Patton on the big chair (including: their pillows/blankets/books/trucks)

5. Having coffee with my Mother (Can't wait until July 20th!!)

6. Watching VH1's 'I love ....' with my brother!

7. Watching my Dad with my kids....

8. Sarah Brightman

9. Hearing my babies sing.

10. Grilled Zucchini and Tomatoes! YUMMMYYYYYY!!!





















YOUR TURN!!!!!!!!

Apparently I suck at blogging......

As I am sure you have said to yourself EVERY TIME YOU COME HERE!~ I don't know...I just get into moods, and am lazy I guess.

Summer is good......I feel busy everyday...........BUT......I PROMISE to do better (you have heard that one before, huh?)

Here are a few pics to tide you over.....

It's almost Mothers Day

and I want to take this opportunity to say that I have without a doubt the worlds FINEST mom. My brother and I like to call her a 'Saint' while she likes to call herself the 'Queen' but either way you go....it's correct. It hurts every year that I can't see her on Mothers Day. Perhaps this is the last year for that....in any case:

I LOVE YOU MOM....you are PERFECT in everyway!


LOVE, Liz

What does this have to do with anything? Not much....just a random thought!

I *really* don't care about movies......





No, really....I mean it. I couldn't care less about 90% of the movies that we watch, yet throw a British accent in and I can't get enough. Bridget Jones Diary...Hot Fuzz...Death at a Funeral. These are ALl movies that I could watch 5 times in a row!

One particular British actor we are fond of is a man named Simon Pegg. HE is HILARIOUS....but recently we ran across his most recent movie and guess what? He spoke with a perfect AMERICAN accent!?! How odd is it that we couldn't even watch the movie...now our 'British' friend sounded too American....too mid-western...too non-British.


How dare he! Will he ever seem the same to us? We like our British to stay British.



What does this have to do with anything? Not much....just a random thought!

You can pinch yourself, but it's gona hurt!

You aren't dreaming...I am *REALLY* posting again!

Here goes.

My name is Chelsea and I have a Matching Boy/Girl clothing ADDICTION. ("Hi Chelsea")

I would be embarassed to tell you just how many outfits have been bought for my kiddos this Summer. Let's just say I should have stopped a.. month ago. I did get this addiction honestly, though. Anyone ever met Janis? My wonderful Mother, LOL! I think the apple fell less than one hundreth of an inch on this one! Ok...now that I have blamed my Mother...let't discuss my latest, shall we?

From Baby Gap....this dress is simply gorgeous in real life. I have been lusing after it for awhile, and this morning I had the perfect opportunity to get it at a GREAT price, so I jumped on it. I really like the shirt for Xavier, too. Very 'fresh off the beach'.

The Chelsea that SHOULD be.

I am a BBBBAAAAADDDDD blogger! I just realized that it's been over a month since I last posted! Sorry Mom!

We had a WONDERFUL visit in NC to see my fam! 10 GLORIOUS days of sunshine, warmth and Grandmama, Papaw and Squire will do your mind well. Even though I missed Kevie pretty badly, I didn't wan't to come 'home'.

Ok..no onto the real blogging, shall we?

I am FAT (not PHAT, mind you.....) LIKE seriously...I need to lose at least 100 lbs (again..did it already in College) and dear ol' Kevin could stand to lose a bit of weight himself. SO...we have collectively decided to actually do something about it. As I was perusing the grocery store aisles this morning, I realized that so many BAD changes have crept into how we eat in my home~ We used to have a very sensible dinner ie: grilled chicken & veggies etc. Now, after 2 kids and working part time in the evening...I throw a frozen pizza in the oven and call it a day. I am very disappointed in myself. I just allowed this Taco Bell at 10 pm, pancakes for breakfast and Mac n cheese for lunch mentality take over! NO WONDER I WEIGH AS MUCH AS A MINI COOPER! We need to change it back! I am calling a TIME OUT on my eating habits.

Seriously? I want to be pretty. I want to walk into any store I want to and try clothes on! I want to be healthy for my children and husband. I want to be THIN. So...I am putting this out there, and I am pretty serious about it. I have felt this determination before in my life..I KNOW I can do it.

This thoughts that keep you up at night.....

Xaiver has Autism. Yes...he is high-functioning. Yes...he is so wonderful and perfect. Yes...he can actually talk now. But, Yes, he still talks in nonsense alot. He re-enacts scenes from his memory more than he actually has original conversations. Socially...he is the proverbial butterfly, LOL. He LOVES people and is NOT AFRAID TO SHOW IT. It is the opposite of being non-social. He is HYPER social, if you will.

I said all that to say this...there are moments when I am frozen with terror that my baby will be made fun of...or not understood. Will he move out of this stage? Am I doing all I can? Would his life be better with a more aggressive Mommy?

I know...you're all going to tell me what I really do already know: He has a good Mommy...you can't question.....he is perfect!~ But I wouldn't be a woman if I didn't worry, right?

And then there is the Patton guilt! DO I spend enough time and energy on her? Will she hate me for worrying about Xavier so much?

AHHHHHHH......I know these are horrible (probably not to be mentioned thoughts) but this is my blog and I am keeping it real, OK?

For the record

Hate if you will...agree if you will...

Since so many others are talking politics...


I AM NOT VOTING FOR BARACK OBAMA...(he creeps me out). If I were a democrat (which I am NOT) I would vote for Hil over him.

McCain rubs me the wrong way too....Ugh...Who am I voting for???? I don't know....but as previously mentioned...I AM NOT VOTING FOR BARACK OBAMA. Period.

Let's talk Vera Bradley, shall we?

MMMMKKKK....I hated it HATED it forever. It was too...patterned....too paisley....too country. I literally would cringe when I saw it. I loved my Coach...my Sac and the occasional cool sac/coach look alikes from TJ Maxx. For the record, I STILL love those brands....but unfortunately you have to grow up at some point and realize that COACH $$ doesn't grow on trees! Maybe when the kiddos are like 24 and 25 I will be able to afford a $200+ purse again.....(one can dream, right?)

ANYWAY....somewhere along the road (after I had babies) I started to feel something. Just a little twinge....dare I say it? I wanted to 'try' out a Vera. The bright colors and the fact that I could machine wash them started to appeal to me. Also, there was a place for bottles in a 'Carryall' (that style is now discontinued, but in it's place is the Cargo Sling...LOVE IT!) My mother, angel that she is, bought me one! Well...needless to say it's been all downhill from there. Currently in my possession are a 3 count them 3 bags and MANY accessories (and I resell all of mine on eBay...so I have had at least one new one per season for a couple of years) I guess they are a great option for this stage in my life....although I am growing a little weary of them. I think I need a new COACH....


Wow...how's that for rambling? What do you think? Like em? LOVE EM? HATE EM??????

YIPPEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kevie brought me these home today



I am seriously addicted~! (but I think Kevin may even be more addicted than me!!!)

I promise

I promise to do better...and blog AT LEAST 3 times a week.

I promise to play with my children MORE and surf the web LESS.

I promise to tell Kein his is handsome and a wonderful provider more often.

I promise to only drink nonfat sugar free lattes w/o whipped cream!

I promise to pray more and overthink LESS.

I promise to get the pic of the kiddos in the car for Dad & Mom TONIGHT!

I promise to paint my nails more often!

I promise to clean my room.

I promise to realize food is only there for survival...not indulgance.

Why?????

Why is it that I want a salad so bad I can nearly TASTE it when Kevin has MY car and won't be home until close to midnight? I *never* crave salads...( I should!) but man....I want one sooooo bad tonight and alas...I had cereal.

The best salad I have ever put to my mouth was a salad at a place called Gradys in NC. The first one I had was in Charlotte, but there was also a Gradys in Greensboro where Squire (my wonderful brother) went to college...so when we had a chance to go there..I sure did sink my teeth into it! It was very lightly breaded chicken, some kind of lettuce (food snob I am not!), perfectly diced tomatoes & carrots drizzled with a BBQ sauce, Honey Mustard AND Ranch dressing. Topping it all were the best onion straws ever!~ Oh man...I miss that salad.

Another home run salad was just the simple side salad at Rock Bottom...I am still not sure if it's the salad or the memory that was perfect....

These days, if I am craving one I just hit Chick Fil A in my mall and get the strips salad with Spicy dressing and it's 'ok'.....but it will never be a Gradys salad.



Mom...when I come home for Easter...we are going to Gradys! Do they still exist? We are talking 10 years ago people!~

My life in 2 hour increments

It feels like everything I do is measured. I wake up at 6ish..I have exactly 1 hour before the kiddies wake up. We then have exactly 2 hours (just long enough for the house to get destroyed completely) before we leave to take Xavier to school.

He is in school 2.5 hours....almost long enough to hit the grocery or target and then going home to put it all away before picking him up. Then, we have the 1.75 hours before nap...again, just long enough to destroy any picking up I may have done while he was at school.

Now..I have 2.5 hours peace before Kevin gets home and the kids are awake...but during this time I *should* be cleaning AGAIN and doing any laundry and cooking dinner. After that, I have exactly 1.5-2 hours (depending) before leavin to go to work, which most times is another 3-4 hours.



Are you exhausted? I am, LOL.





Ok....I am trying REALLY REALLY hard to relax and not get so worked up over the small things in life. I need to slow down and just enjoy and embrace my children! I have shed many a tear the past few weeks over my frustration...so I am vowing here and now to just CHILL. The dishes WILL get done. Even if it means I stay up for all hours of the night doing laundry (that I couldn't take the chance of doing while the kids were upstairs for fear of what would happen while I was in the basement so I couldn't leave them) ...it's OK. I will make it.

Whisper a prayer for this mommy, would you? AND if you hear me complaining...remind me of this post...OK?

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!

**DISCLAIMER**

This post is sickening sweet....but really, of all days....isn't today THE day to be sickening sweet???????






If you know me AT ALL...you must know that VDAY is my FAVORITE holiday of all (much like Easter is my Mothers) Even before I was married, it was just so magical to me. The year I met Kevin (but BEFORE I met him), I planned a Valentines 'dinner' with my students. We had Spaghetti (Lady & The Tramp) and jello..and they were asked to wear pink & red. I put the table in the Fellowship Hall so we could dim the lights and we also played romantic music. The kids (ok..I) got a kick out of it!

The first Valentines of Marriage happened to be on a Friday night...SO...Kevin had made reservations for a nice hotel room in Indianapolis (which I LOVEEEE), had flowers waiting on us there from EnFlora (which I double LOVEEEE) and we had a weekend on the town planned. How sweet! The bad news? We drove straight into a blizzard ...so after we woke up the next morning, we drove straight back to Cincy, but I wouldn't have traded that Valentines day for anything! We were newlyweds and so in love(blush).....ah the memories.


These days...we are lucky to get an evening out at all, but tonight my Mother In Law is actually taking the kiddos overnight! Kevin bought my Valentines gift early ( last Sat....the beginning stages of a 'Troll Bracelet' Yipeeeeee) and we have reservations at Bravo tonight. ~Sigh~ I am a lucky girl......

I hope everyone has a FABULOUS night!!!!

Random Thoughts...

Ah....I wish I was WAY more organized and driven! If I was, then not a day would go by that I didn't blog. I will apologize forever...because I will forever be unorganized and apparently lazy, LOL. It's hard being me.

I wish my new vacuum would magically show up at my door tomorrow (I ordered it on Amazon), but I am pretty sure that would be impossible since I have recieved no shipping notice. Ours broke around Christmas time, but luckily for us, Kevin got a shop-vac for Christmas. We are so GHETTO....we have been using that to clean since then, HA HA!

I am getting excited about this weekend! Edna...my almost-sister is coming for a quick visit. The last time she was here was 2 weeks after Xavier was born!!!!

We are supposed to get 6+ inches of snow tomorrow....I am *SO* ready for SPRING!

WOW...I am pretty boring today...but I at least wanted to post SOMETHING.....I hope to have a significant post soon!

Looking towards Spring

In my last post...I alluded to change and I think I scared some people!~ (Hi Tammy!)

I didn't mean to do THAT! LOL. NOTHING is wrong! I promise~

ANYWAY

Today it's a bit warmer than it has been...not a heatwave by any stretch, but at 5 degrees as I type, not too bad.

I believe there are times in your life that you just crave (biologically, maybe?) the newness that Spring arrives with. Usually, by this time in the year (yes, I am aware it's only February!) I am longing for NC and all the dogwoods you would see at Easter. I am going home for Easter this year, but as we all know, Easter is painfully early this year...so I may not get to see those Dogwoods, dog-gone it (pun intended...and you may chortle at my silly joke..you KNOW you want to, he he). Still, there is something so wonderful about this time of the year...literally Spring and re-birth are around the corner.

Picture the green grass, the short sleeved tops....the first Pedicure of the season for goodnesssake!!! (I'm going for COLOR THIS YEAR!!!! YIPPEEEEE!)

I can almost smell the tulips now...............

Change

Change is HARD. Change can rip your heart out....it can rock your world. It can make you scared. Change IS scary.

Change is necessary.

People...we are about to make a change. For me personally...it's a lifetime of living a certain way that is about to CHANGE. I made some decisions over 18 years ago that I have now decided aren't necessary.

I have had many friends make these same changes...and I remember how heart broken...how scared...how SAD I felt about it...and I realize that some may feel that for me/us now....but I want to stress that I/we are in no way turning our back completely on the faith that has guided us..nor are we walking away from God...but I find it necessary now to CHANGE.

Please love me/us as you always have! I hope that the person I have always been comes shining through all the fog.............

The Week of Sickness

Has passed, hopefully. ARGH....I promise it's like we just keep passing it around...but today I pulled out the BLEACH (thanks to Lindsy!) and I am determined that we WILL KICK THIS!

Poor Kevin, he had/has it worse than everyone...I will NOT tell you the horrors last night entailed.






In other mundane news I have been getting my eBay auctions ready...NOT fun! HOWEVER..I am pretty much 75% of the way there...so I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.





The kiddos are so cute...tonight Xavier went up stairs and half-way up, he said 'Don't worry, Mommy..I'll be right back'! It's hard to believe that just one year ago, I didn't dream of him saying something like that! Thank God for school!

Patton was cute too (of course!) After dinner, she said 'Bye Bye Peanut Butter' (to my ears....but maybe more likt 'bye bye Peut buerr' to yours, LOL!).

Our Crazy Life

AHhhhhhhhh.

WEll...today has been a doozy of a day so far! I went to pick up Xavier from Pre-school and guess what? My tire was as flat as a pancake! SO..I called Kevo...bad news..he is a state away (yes..a STATE). Called my sister-in-law (who lives 30 minutes away) and luckily she could pick Xavier up...BUT she didn't have a car-seat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I made the only decision I felt I could and just begged her to be as careful as possible with my baby as she drove him here....but then later realized what I SHOULD have done is taken the extra 10 minutes and made her come here first, grabbed a seat and THEN picked up Xavier...I would have NEVER forgiven myself if anything had happened. Being the worrier I am I went through every worst case scenario known to man until my boy was safely here. Geez...I drive myself nuts sometimes, LOL.

My hero (husband) came and put the spare on as fast as he could...so now all is well.

For Tammy

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Life is crazy, No?