How did I end up HERE?

Forgive me in advance.....

2008-12-04T13:53:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I want to go bury my head. Somedays are worse than others....somedays I want to, as my Mother put it, 'Run away into the Sunset'. I want to take my children with me. Somedays are raw with emotion, this is one of those days. Today I feel cheated. Today I feel hurt. Today I want NOTHING to do with ANYONE. Today I question my decisions that have led me here, and today I regret what can't ever be. I know I am whining. I know I am being selfish, but TODAY....I don't care. Everyone is allowed these moments, right?

'I sad' as my 4 yr old Autistic son would put it. When asked WHY he is sad (he has a hard time still communicating some more abstract thoughts) he replies 'Cause I not happy'. Well said, Baby boy.

Some 'Blogger' I am !

2008-11-25T06:57:00.003-05:00

Sorry....I absolutely am horrid at this whole blogging business. I have no excuses, just that I am apparently lazy, LOL.

My parents are coming in 2 days for Thanksgiving!~ YEAH! It would only be better ig my big bad bro Squire was coming also, but at least Christmas (when he IS coming) is not too far away.

In the tradition of Elememtary School Children everywhere, I am going to tell you what I am truly thankful for.

1. I am Thankful for my precious family...Kevin, Xavier & Patton, Mom, Dad & Squire.

2. I am Thankful for the 19 years I got with Brett....(who would have been 28 on this coming Friday...I miss you Brett.)

3. I am Thankful for Edna, Corey, Lindsey & Stefanie. Who could live in a world without tried and true friends?

4. I am Thankful for Starbucks Pumpkin & Gingerbread Lattes. Amen.

5. I am Thankful for restaurants willing to cook my Turkey FOR me (otherwise I am SURE we would be in for this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Spmqbs8YCW8

6. I am Thankful for Spanx. Don't act like you DON'T know what I am talking about!

7. I am Thankful for the Christmas Tree and Lights my husband has ALREADY put up! Yeah~!

8. I am Thankful for Vaseline Lip Therapy *Cherry*. It moves me.

9. I am Thankful for The Hamilton City Pre-school where my son is learning so much.

10. I am Thankful for a God who loves me through the blood......

Happy Thanksgiving!

What is Love? Baby don't hurt me.......

2008-10-01T06:35:00.004-04:00

To really appreciate this post you need to be humming that and nodding your head to the side to the beat Night at the Roxbury-Style.

OK...I know SOME of you don't know this movie...but MOST do.

It may have been the last Movie my precious sister and I ever watched together....I don't remember. We acted out scenes from it when she came to see me at school my Senior Year I know.... My 5 ft 1 sister tried to carry me, also. She always hugged me and called me Kaleesha. She shared nachos at Rock Bottom with me. She loved Hot Wings and changing her hair color. She loved Night at the Roxbury. She loved me.

Here it is...the meltdown I KNEW would happen but hadn't yet. I am sad yet thrilled that after 8 long/short years I can still feel my loss...her loss so raw and painful. Almost like it happened yesterday.

Did you know that Brett and I look alike? Recently, I got a long bang cut into my hair and some highlights (don't worry...they are subtle)....it SCARED me the first time I looked into the mirror and I saw Brett looking back. Then it comforted me.

8 years ago some punk in a Land Rover stole my baby sister from me. He stole my parents baby girl. He stole Squires sister....my children's crazy Aunt Brett and he stole from the world one of the kindest, full of life people there will ever be. I still hear her laugh in my dreams and I feel her embrace...Brett was cooler than I will ever hope to be. She was compassionate. She was perfectly Brett.

Brett....I miss you more than ever....and this is for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzUqhOT3LKo

I haven't dropped off the face of the Earth~

2008-07-28T18:21:00.001-04:00

I promise to blog soon!!!!

Grocery Prices! GRRR........

2008-07-08T15:11:00.002-04:00

Ok...so I went and did my dreaded grocery shopping last night after the little darlings were in bed (as opposed to taking the Holy Terrors they tend to be the exact moment one foot crosses the threshhold of the store....TRUST ME).

I don't always buy the EXACT same thing...but I do spend around a certain amount. WHOAH...let me tell you! I was SHOCKED at some of the price differences between last week and this week! A few examples: I buy the Kroger brand cheese (shocked? Don't be....we love it and my kids will actually not eat Kraft!). I buy LOTS of cheese....to the tune of 3 pks. Swiss, 4 pks. Provolone (Xaviers' beloved "circle cheese"), 4-5 bags shredded varieties. Last week...they were $1.88 each. This week:$2.29! $.41 X 12 is nearly $5! Just in CHEESE. The brand of bread we buy used to be $2.69/loaf. It's now $2.89. A Gallon of milk is almost $5!!!!! Thats the KROGER grand of milk.

I remember reading stories about people eating Peanut Butter soup or a pot of beans for days at a time during the Great Depression.....will it get to that for us? I am sorry to be such a Debbie Downer....but GEEZ! We are paying over $4. for a gallon of gas and trust me...we haven't gotten any cost of living raises that would cover it all.

Worried? Yes.

Krispy Kreme!

2008-07-06T13:24:00.007-04:00

YUMMMMMMMYYYYYY!

Some of you may know already that one of the last things my precious sister Brett told me before she was killed was: "Whenever you see the Hot N Now sign on at Krispy Kreme, make sure you stop and get some". She actually told me that the night before she died...which is yet another odd forboding of what was to come (thats another post for another time). In any case, I have always of course remembered that and forever more I will associate Brett with Krispy Kremes. Not a bad thing, huh? Winston Salem, NC is the home of Krispy Kreme so I took for granted having them available....we don't have one in the Cincinnati area, so for us it's a hike to get there. This morning I woke up thinking of her so Kevin said to get dressed and off we went! My kids were spellbound by the conveyor belt of doughnuts (ok...so were we, LOL!).

A few Hot n Nows later (and some sprinkles for the kiddies!) and I am pretty sure I can go a few more months without any doughnuts!

This one's for you, Brett! Love, Kalesha (Brett's pet name for her big sis)

It's another Drive-Thru Blogging!

2008-07-05T14:15:00.002-04:00

10 NOT-Favorites:

1. Being Fat!

2. Paying Bills

3. Having to take BOTH children to the store AT THE SAME TIME!

4. Cleaning up my house for the 4th time today!

5. Raw onions and any mushrooms! YUCK!

6. Having to explain to everyone at a play area that my monster son (who looks like he is 5 or older) is actually only 3 and has Autism. That can ruin a day for sure.

7. Working with people who don't care...drives me crazy!

8. That I have about 100 auctions to get ready UGH!!!

9. That we still have 2 weeks until we leave for NC!

10. Knowing my mom and dad are lonely....and hundreds of miles apart.

YOUR TURN~

Favorite Things....

2008-07-03T07:27:00.003-04:00

1. A Sugar Free Coconut Latte w/ Skim Milk no Whipped Creme from The Daily Grind.

2. My new Cils Booster XL from Lancome! AWESOME! (it's a mascara primer)

3. Sitting on the couch snuggling with Kevin watching Scrubs or That Seventies Show.

4. Sitting with Xavier or Patton on the big chair (including: their pillows/blankets/books/trucks)

5. Having coffee with my Mother (Can't wait until July 20th!!)

6. Watching VH1's 'I love ....' with my brother!

7. Watching my Dad with my kids....

8. Sarah Brightman

9. Hearing my babies sing.

10. Grilled Zucchini and Tomatoes! YUMMMYYYYYY!!!

YOUR TURN!!!!!!!!

Apparently I suck at blogging......

2008-07-01T12:51:00.003-04:00

As I am sure you have said to yourself EVERY TIME YOU COME HERE!~ I don't know...I just get into moods, and am lazy I guess.

Summer is good......I feel busy everyday...........BUT......I PROMISE to do better (you have heard that one before, huh?)

Here are a few pics to tide you over.....

It's almost Mothers Day

2008-05-05T14:35:00.000-04:00

and I want to take this opportunity to say that I have without a doubt the worlds FINEST mom. My brother and I like to call her a 'Saint' while she likes to call herself the 'Queen' but either way you go....it's correct. It hurts every year that I can't see her on Mothers Day. Perhaps this is the last year for that....in any case:

I LOVE YOU MOM....you are PERFECT in everyway!

LOVE, Liz

What does this have to do with anything? Not much....just a random thought!

2008-04-23T20:08:00.000-04:00

I *really* don't care about movies......

No, really....I mean it. I couldn't care less about 90% of the movies that we watch, yet throw a British accent in and I can't get enough. Bridget Jones Diary...Hot Fuzz...Death at a Funeral. These are ALl movies that I could watch 5 times in a row!

One particular British actor we are fond of is a man named Simon Pegg. HE is HILARIOUS....but recently we ran across his most recent movie and guess what? He spoke with a perfect AMERICAN accent!?! How odd is it that we couldn't even watch the movie...now our 'British' friend sounded too American....too mid-western...too non-British.

How dare he! Will he ever seem the same to us? We like our British to stay British.

What does this have to do with anything? Not much....just a random thought!

You can pinch yourself, but it's gona hurt!

2008-04-10T14:08:00.000-04:00

You aren't dreaming...I am *REALLY* posting again!

Here goes.

My name is Chelsea and I have a Matching Boy/Girl clothing ADDICTION. ("Hi Chelsea")

I would be embarassed to tell you just how many outfits have been bought for my kiddos this Summer. Let's just say I should have stopped a.. month ago. I did get this addiction honestly, though. Anyone ever met Janis? My wonderful Mother, LOL! I think the apple fell less than one hundreth of an inch on this one! Ok...now that I have blamed my Mother...let't discuss my latest, shall we?

From Baby Gap....this dress is simply gorgeous in real life. I have been lusing after it for awhile, and this morning I had the perfect opportunity to get it at a GREAT price, so I jumped on it. I really like the shirt for Xavier, too. Very 'fresh off the beach'.

The Chelsea that SHOULD be.

2008-04-09T15:09:00.000-04:00

I am a BBBBAAAAADDDDD blogger! I just realized that it's been over a month since I last posted! Sorry Mom!

We had a WONDERFUL visit in NC to see my fam! 10 GLORIOUS days of sunshine, warmth and Grandmama, Papaw and Squire will do your mind well. Even though I missed Kevie pretty badly, I didn't wan't to come 'home'.

Ok..no onto the real blogging, shall we?

I am FAT (not PHAT, mind you.....) LIKE seriously...I need to lose at least 100 lbs (again..did it already in College) and dear ol' Kevin could stand to lose a bit of weight himself. SO...we have collectively decided to actually do something about it. As I was perusing the grocery store aisles this morning, I realized that so many BAD changes have crept into how we eat in my home~ We used to have a very sensible dinner ie: grilled chicken & veggies etc. Now, after 2 kids and working part time in the evening...I throw a frozen pizza in the oven and call it a day. I am very disappointed in myself. I just allowed this Taco Bell at 10 pm, pancakes for breakfast and Mac n cheese for lunch mentality take over! NO WONDER I WEIGH AS MUCH AS A MINI COOPER! We need to change it back! I am calling a TIME OUT on my eating habits.

Seriously? I want to be pretty. I want to walk into any store I want to and try clothes on! I want to be healthy for my children and husband. I want to be THIN. So...I am putting this out there, and I am pretty serious about it. I have felt this determination before in my life..I KNOW I can do it.

This thoughts that keep you up at night.....

2008-03-04T07:14:00.001-05:00

Xaiver has Autism. Yes...he is high-functioning. Yes...he is so wonderful and perfect. Yes...he can actually talk now. But, Yes, he still talks in nonsense alot. He re-enacts scenes from his memory more than he actually has original conversations. Socially...he is the proverbial butterfly, LOL. He LOVES people and is NOT AFRAID TO SHOW IT. It is the opposite of being non-social. He is HYPER social, if you will.

I said all that to say this...there are moments when I am frozen with terror that my baby will be made fun of...or not understood. Will he move out of this stage? Am I doing all I can? Would his life be better with a more aggressive Mommy?

I know...you're all going to tell me what I really do already know: He has a good Mommy...you can't question.....he is perfect!~ But I wouldn't be a woman if I didn't worry, right?

And then there is the Patton guilt! DO I spend enough time and energy on her? Will she hate me for worrying about Xavier so much?

AHHHHHHH......I know these are horrible (probably not to be mentioned thoughts) but this is my blog and I am keeping it real, OK?

For the record

2008-02-29T23:03:00.000-05:00

Hate if you will...agree if you will...

Since so many others are talking politics...

I AM NOT VOTING FOR BARACK OBAMA...(he creeps me out). If I were a democrat (which I am NOT) I would vote for Hil over him.

McCain rubs me the wrong way too....Ugh...Who am I voting for???? I don't know....but as previously mentioned...I AM NOT VOTING FOR BARACK OBAMA. Period.

Let's talk Vera Bradley, shall we?

2008-02-27T19:50:00.000-05:00

MMMMKKKK....I hated it HATED it forever. It was too...patterned....too paisley....too country. I literally would cringe when I saw it. I loved my Coach...my Sac and the occasional cool sac/coach look alikes from TJ Maxx. For the record, I STILL love those brands....but unfortunately you have to grow up at some point and realize that COACH $$ doesn't grow on trees! Maybe when the kiddos are like 24 and 25 I will be able to afford a $200+ purse again.....(one can dream, right?)

ANYWAY....somewhere along the road (after I had babies) I started to feel something. Just a little twinge....dare I say it? I wanted to 'try' out a Vera. The bright colors and the fact that I could machine wash them started to appeal to me. Also, there was a place for bottles in a 'Carryall' (that style is now discontinued, but in it's place is the Cargo Sling...LOVE IT!) My mother, angel that she is, bought me one! Well...needless to say it's been all downhill from there. Currently in my possession are a 3 count them 3 bags and MANY accessories (and I resell all of mine on eBay...so I have had at least one new one per season for a couple of years) I guess they are a great option for this stage in my life....although I am growing a little weary of them. I think I need a new COACH....

Wow...how's that for rambling? What do you think? Like em? LOVE EM? HATE EM??????

YIPPEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-25T20:04:00.001-05:00

Kevie brought me these home today

I am seriously addicted~! (but I think Kevin may even be more addicted than me!!!)

I promise

2008-02-25T14:49:00.001-05:00

I promise to do better...and blog AT LEAST 3 times a week.

I promise to play with my children MORE and surf the web LESS.

I promise to tell Kein his is handsome and a wonderful provider more often.

I promise to only drink nonfat sugar free lattes w/o whipped cream!

I promise to pray more and overthink LESS.

I promise to get the pic of the kiddos in the car for Dad & Mom TONIGHT!

I promise to paint my nails more often!

I promise to clean my room.

I promise to realize food is only there for survival...not indulgance.

Why?????

2008-02-23T20:51:00.000-05:00

Why is it that I want a salad so bad I can nearly TASTE it when Kevin has MY car and won't be home until close to midnight? I *never* crave salads...( I should!) but man....I want one sooooo bad tonight and alas...I had cereal.

The best salad I have ever put to my mouth was a salad at a place called Gradys in NC. The first one I had was in Charlotte, but there was also a Gradys in Greensboro where Squire (my wonderful brother) went to college...so when we had a chance to go there..I sure did sink my teeth into it! It was very lightly breaded chicken, some kind of lettuce (food snob I am not!), perfectly diced tomatoes & carrots drizzled with a BBQ sauce, Honey Mustard AND Ranch dressing. Topping it all were the best onion straws ever!~ Oh man...I miss that salad.

Another home run salad was just the simple side salad at Rock Bottom...I am still not sure if it's the salad or the memory that was perfect....

These days, if I am craving one I just hit Chick Fil A in my mall and get the strips salad with Spicy dressing and it's 'ok'.....but it will never be a Gradys salad.

Mom...when I come home for Easter...we are going to Gradys! Do they still exist? We are talking 10 years ago people!~

My life in 2 hour increments

2008-02-19T14:55:00.000-05:00

It feels like everything I do is measured. I wake up at 6ish..I have exactly 1 hour before the kiddies wake up. We then have exactly 2 hours (just long enough for the house to get destroyed completely) before we leave to take Xavier to school.

He is in school 2.5 hours....almost long enough to hit the grocery or target and then going home to put it all away before picking him up. Then, we have the 1.75 hours before nap...again, just long enough to destroy any picking up I may have done while he was at school.

Now..I have 2.5 hours peace before Kevin gets home and the kids are awake...but during this time I *should* be cleaning AGAIN and doing any laundry and cooking dinner. After that, I have exactly 1.5-2 hours (depending) before leavin to go to work, which most times is another 3-4 hours.

Are you exhausted? I am, LOL.

Ok....I am trying REALLY REALLY hard to relax and not get so worked up over the small things in life. I need to slow down and just enjoy and embrace my children! I have shed many a tear the past few weeks over my frustration...so I am vowing here and now to just CHILL. The dishes WILL get done. Even if it means I stay up for all hours of the night doing laundry (that I couldn't take the chance of doing while the kids were upstairs for fear of what would happen while I was in the basement so I couldn't leave them) ...it's OK. I will make it.

Whisper a prayer for this mommy, would you? AND if you hear me complaining...remind me of this post...OK?

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!

2008-02-14T13:58:00.000-05:00

**DISCLAIMER**

This post is sickening sweet....but really, of all days....isn't today THE day to be sickening sweet???????

If you know me AT ALL...you must know that VDAY is my FAVORITE holiday of all (much like Easter is my Mothers) Even before I was married, it was just so magical to me. The year I met Kevin (but BEFORE I met him), I planned a Valentines 'dinner' with my students. We had Spaghetti (Lady & The Tramp) and jello..and they were asked to wear pink & red. I put the table in the Fellowship Hall so we could dim the lights and we also played romantic music. The kids (ok..I) got a kick out of it!

The first Valentines of Marriage happened to be on a Friday night...SO...Kevin had made reservations for a nice hotel room in Indianapolis (which I LOVEEEE), had flowers waiting on us there from EnFlora (which I double LOVEEEE) and we had a weekend on the town planned. How sweet! The bad news? We drove straight into a blizzard ...so after we woke up the next morning, we drove straight back to Cincy, but I wouldn't have traded that Valentines day for anything! We were newlyweds and so in love(blush).....ah the memories.

These days...we are lucky to get an evening out at all, but tonight my Mother In Law is actually taking the kiddos overnight! Kevin bought my Valentines gift early ( last Sat....the beginning stages of a 'Troll Bracelet' Yipeeeeee) and we have reservations at Bravo tonight. ~Sigh~ I am a lucky girl......

I hope everyone has a FABULOUS night!!!!

Random Thoughts...

2008-02-11T23:00:00.000-05:00

Ah....I wish I was WAY more organized and driven! If I was, then not a day would go by that I didn't blog. I will apologize forever...because I will forever be unorganized and apparently lazy, LOL. It's hard being me.

I wish my new vacuum would magically show up at my door tomorrow (I ordered it on Amazon), but I am pretty sure that would be impossible since I have recieved no shipping notice. Ours broke around Christmas time, but luckily for us, Kevin got a shop-vac for Christmas. We are so GHETTO....we have been using that to clean since then, HA HA!

I am getting excited about this weekend! Edna...my almost-sister is coming for a quick visit. The last time she was here was 2 weeks after Xavier was born!!!!

We are supposed to get 6+ inches of snow tomorrow....I am *SO* ready for SPRING!

WOW...I am pretty boring today...but I at least wanted to post SOMETHING.....I hope to have a significant post soon!

Looking towards Spring

2008-02-04T14:34:00.000-05:00

In my last post...I alluded to change and I think I scared some people!~ (Hi Tammy!)

I didn't mean to do THAT! LOL. NOTHING is wrong! I promise~

ANYWAY

Today it's a bit warmer than it has been...not a heatwave by any stretch, but at 5 degrees as I type, not too bad.

I believe there are times in your life that you just crave (biologically, maybe?) the newness that Spring arrives with. Usually, by this time in the year (yes, I am aware it's only February!) I am longing for NC and all the dogwoods you would see at Easter. I am going home for Easter this year, but as we all know, Easter is painfully early this year...so I may not get to see those Dogwoods, dog-gone it (pun intended...and you may chortle at my silly joke..you KNOW you want to, he he). Still, there is something so wonderful about this time of the year...literally Spring and re-birth are around the corner.

Picture the green grass, the short sleeved tops....the first Pedicure of the season for goodnesssake!!! (I'm going for COLOR THIS YEAR!!!! YIPPEEEEE!)

I can almost smell the tulips now...............

Change

2008-01-30T14:51:00.001-05:00

Change is HARD. Change can rip your heart out....it can rock your world. It can make you scared. Change IS scary.

Change is necessary.

People...we are about to make a change. For me personally...it's a lifetime of living a certain way that is about to CHANGE. I made some decisions over 18 years ago that I have now decided aren't necessary.

I have had many friends make these same changes...and I remember how heart broken...how scared...how SAD I felt about it...and I realize that some may feel that for me/us now....but I want to stress that I/we are in no way turning our back completely on the faith that has guided us..nor are we walking away from God...but I find it necessary now to CHANGE.

Please love me/us as you always have! I hope that the person I have always been comes shining through all the fog.............

The Week of Sickness

2008-01-21T22:03:00.000-05:00

Has passed, hopefully. ARGH....I promise it's like we just keep passing it around...but today I pulled out the BLEACH (thanks to Lindsy!) and I am determined that we WILL KICK THIS!

Poor Kevin, he had/has it worse than everyone...I will NOT tell you the horrors last night entailed.

In other mundane news I have been getting my eBay auctions ready...NOT fun! HOWEVER..I am pretty much 75% of the way there...so I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

The kiddos are so cute...tonight Xavier went up stairs and half-way up, he said 'Don't worry, Mommy..I'll be right back'! It's hard to believe that just one year ago, I didn't dream of him saying something like that! Thank God for school!

Patton was cute too (of course!) After dinner, she said 'Bye Bye Peanut Butter' (to my ears....but maybe more likt 'bye bye Peut buerr' to yours, LOL!).

Our Crazy Life

2008-01-15T14:30:00.001-05:00

AHhhhhhhhh.

WEll...today has been a doozy of a day so far! I went to pick up Xavier from Pre-school and guess what? My tire was as flat as a pancake! SO..I called Kevo...bad news..he is a state away (yes..a STATE). Called my sister-in-law (who lives 30 minutes away) and luckily she could pick Xavier up...BUT she didn't have a car-seat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I made the only decision I felt I could and just begged her to be as careful as possible with my baby as she drove him here....but then later realized what I SHOULD have done is taken the extra 10 minutes and made her come here first, grabbed a seat and THEN picked up Xavier...I would have NEVER forgiven myself if anything had happened. Being the worrier I am I went through every worst case scenario known to man until my boy was safely here. Geez...I drive myself nuts sometimes, LOL.

My hero (husband) came and put the spare on as fast as he could...so now all is well.

For Tammy

2008-01-13T16:12:00.000-05:00

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Life is crazy, No?

Christmas came early this year!!!

2007-12-17T06:53:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Allison and Asher (I love you guys!!!!!) THIS is what my children will wake up to this morning. I am sure I will have more pics of them playing at it...and I can promise you.....Xavier MAY have a hard time leaving for school.

What a selfless act to give something like this away! I can't tell you how happy I am...and I went to sleep last night with a smile on my face. Working Retail this time of year will make you, well, NOT feeling the love of Christmas, ya know? Oh...THANK YOU ALLISON...and I will pray that somewhere down the road, you are blessed this way yourself!!!!

Wait.....WAIT.....NOOOOOOOOO

2007-12-12T13:58:00.000-05:00

Oh My Goodness.

HOW is it possible the the 'baby' will be 2 next week????? NOOOOOOO. Make it stop. I am having a serious meltdown (I am SURE this is not the last one for the next week or so, LOL). Patton will be 2. WOW

Is anyone else this way? WHY is it so hard for me to see my kiddos grow older? I swear each birthday is harder than the ones before (and, people, we have had a GRAND total of only 4 SO far between the 2 NOT counting the one on Tues.) I have become my mother.

During my college days, when I would go home or if Mom would come visit..she would bawl like a baby when I/She left. One particular year was I believe the beginning of my Jr. year and she came to get me settled in...well, she had a flight back home (this was when you could still go inside an airport to see someone off..pre-911) and Corey (hi buddy!) was with me...Mom just weeped and hugged me forever....I wasn't embaressed or anything...but I just couldn't understand how she could be so tore up about it...I mean..I would be home for Thanksgiving, right?

Anyway...now 'I' am the blubbering fool about my kids (and please...save yourself...don't even ask me about what I am like when my PARENTS leave!!!!)

Time just won't stand still, will it?

Tammy....remember when I was pregnant with Xavier and visiting NC...you went with Mom and I to visit Brett's grave. The Dixie Chics came on the radio (or maybe it was my cd) and that sweet little song came on...

"Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)"

Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, will find the mouse
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "Amen," wherever we are
And I love you

Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

Now I know why you shed some tears........

Today Brett would have been 27

2007-11-28T22:37:00.000-05:00

Hard to believe. Brett....with wrinkles??? Nah....where she is there are no wrinkles. I sure wish I could be having cake with her....Or actually, knowing Brett it would be a plate of hot chicken wings!

I love you Bert....Kaleesha

pics

2007-11-27T14:43:00.001-05:00

SO SO SO SORRY Its Been too LONG!

2007-11-27T14:36:00.000-05:00

If there is anyone still out there, I apologize! Life has been pretty busy and I have apparently been quite lazy!

Last week..on THANKSGIVING...we celebrated our 5 year Anniversary! Can you believe it? Seriously, I Thank God everyday for my '1st baby'. He truly was the perfict fit for me. He is handsome and loving. A good provider and he loves to watch old episodes of SCRUBS, drink hot chocolate and hold hands with me....oh and he put up our Christmas Lights and Tree! I LOVE THIS MAN. He is also a GREAT Father.

Another GREAT think happened this weekend! My dad spent the night with us Sunday~ WE were all beside ourselves with delight. The only bad thing was it was short and I wanted to cry when he left (ok...I DID cry when he left) but hey...it's better than nothing. Can't wait to see them for Christmas!!!!!! YIPPEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will add some pics soon!

Chex Mix Bold Party Blend

2007-11-07T14:30:00.000-05:00

Totally laced with Crack, I am sure. oh! So is Nutella. Just wanted to say that.
(running away red faced and ashamed).

Can you believe it's November?

2007-11-02T08:02:00.000-04:00

Unbelievable! I have 3 tiny Christmas gifts for Patton and we have already taken care of Kevins mom...but thats IT! I need to get busy! I really want to do Christmas 'BIG' this year, and I don't really mean gifts. I mean the decorating, the celebrating. For the last 3 years (since the kiddos have been here) we have just been either too busy or tired to do much, be this year I plan to take Christmas back.

We Will:

*put ornaments on the tree and it will be put up NO LATER than the day after T-giving.

*Put up lights outside...I bought them before Xavier was born....

*Go see as much in our area that is 'Christmasy' as we can!

*Listen to LOTS of Christmas Music (Thanks for the cool new CD, Mom!)

*Drink Peppermint Mochas and Gingerbread Lattes until our heads explode (ok..I will)

*Set up toys from 'Santa'

Did I cover everything?????

Can you tell I am into Christmas? I plan on getting my groove back this year. I really lost it while the babies were babies and I am just not willing to settle for that......Christmas is a wonderful time of year...and I want to truly celebrate it for all it's worth!

We love Grandmama & Papaw

2007-10-30T14:59:00.001-04:00

Tuesday Blues

2007-10-30T14:52:00.000-04:00

Well for starters, we had an AWESOME weekend with Mom & Dad~ The kids were BEYOND excited when they woke up from nap Friday to see 'Grandmama & Papaw'. It was just too too too short.

Maybe that is why I am a little down today? I worked myself up with joy and am just coming down I guess. Tomorrow we are going Trick Or Treating and that should be so fun! We have never done that with the kids...and they have cute Pirate costumes to wear...PROMISE I will post pics on Thurs.

It is SO cold here! This morning when I checked the temp. it was 29 degrees, can you believe that?

I am so excited

2007-10-24T20:38:00.000-04:00

My parents are visiting this weekend!! YIPPEE! I just have to clean the house and cook
that lasagna and I will be set.

I am sorry the blogs have been few & far between lately, but I have been super busy. The date night was AWESOME....we need to do that about once a week (I wish!).

Do you have pumpkins and mums yet? We do...and Kevin is already thinking of grotesque ways to carve them.

Have a great day!

A few Random Thoughts

2007-10-19T07:15:00.000-04:00

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes are a little bit of Heaven on Earth

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL NEXT FRIDAY!!!! Mom & Dad are coming!!!

I wish it would get colder.

I have a date tonight...with Mr. Roboto of course! I think I will make him open the car door (well, he does that already....what else can I make him do??)

I wish I was a better friend. I have several REALLY WONDERFUL FRIENDS (You know who you are) that I feel like I contact so little....I need to do better.

Xavier knows who Santa Claus is, but calls him 'Merry Christmas Ho Ho Ho' (is he CUTE or what???)

Patton knows what 'punkins' are...and reminds me EVERYTIME we see one (pretty cute too!)

I Heart Exclamation Marks!!!!!!

I hope everyone has an AWESOME weekend! Love you all!

I need a Nanny....and a Cleaner

2007-10-17T15:16:00.000-04:00

So today has been a doozy! To start things off, Xavier wouldn't eat breakfast. Not a bite. Not even a nibble...and I JUST got a letter home on Monday reminding all parents that kids NEED to eat before school. SOOOO...I was a bit put out and ended up raising my voice and then he DEFINTELY wouldn't eat.

So I got (yeah me!) to drop Patton off with my Mother-in-law so that I could grocery shop in peace and I STILL didn't make it home to put up the groceries away until after I picked the kids up. YIKES.....2 toddlers and about 50 bags of groceries to carry inside was NOT FUN.

So now, guess who are NOT NAPPING? You got it....BOTH. I feel like pulling my hair out....Xavier has Occupational Therapy in less than 2 hours and he is really a hellion if he doesn't sleep...plus I am in the middle of about 10 loads of laundry and Mr. Roboto wants to know why I don't want to take BOTH to therapy????? I need a break! Thank God I don't work tonight...

Ok....I think I need to clarify!

2007-10-13T22:55:00.001-04:00

I went back and read the blog entry I last made and I am thinking I sound just a teeny bit depressed!

Wow....I mean I really DO feel those things, and at that exact moment on Thurs. I meant them....but I am a true woman. SO emotional! WOW again. AND I just want to insert RIGHT HERE...I Love Love Love my family and I know that they love me...but my big question was have I been gone so long that I can no longer be part of their daily lives.

I want to watch a race (did I just say that?) I want to go into ANY restaurant and hear Country Music and order Sweet Tea. I want to drive up to the Mountains. I want to make dinner for my Mom & Dad. I want to stay up late with Squire and watch a documentary. I want to go to Family Reunions. I want my children to sound like they are from NC. I want to 'Go Home'.

In other news, we went to a park today and had a BLAST! I will be posting pics VERY soon!

I'm in a pensive mood

2007-10-11T15:22:00.000-04:00

It't one of those days for me. I am typing this while on the verge of not only tears...but serious emotional breakdown.

I have been away from home now for 11 years. REALLY? Yes...it does not seem possible...like only yesterday I was heading to MeiMeis with Mom on a crisp Fall Saturday morning. Maybe it's that it's Fall..I don't know.

I want to be able to go with my Mom to the Mall. Or to get Coffee. I want to sit down and play Rummy with Dad. Talk about music or current events with Squire. None of these things are completely out of reach when I am there...so it's not like it can NEVER happen, but there is a deeper question lingering in my mind.

Have I finally been gone SO long that even my own family does not long for this like I do? My last trip home was like none before it...it was odd. For one thing I was VERY sick....so maybe that is it. I am sure anyone reading this knows just how much I love my family...but Kevin (after holding me during my depressed cries about the trip) said something that shook my world: He said "Chelsea...I..WE (he and kids) ARE your family". Wow..even as I type this I am not quite ready to deal with how I feel about that. TO say I am 'fiercly' protective of my loved ones in NC is to put things mildly. HOWEVER...I am a happily married woman and like it or not we currently reside in OH.

On the horizon for us has always been to move to NC and I still want that to happen. We took this year to keep Xavier enrolled in the programs around here knowing we had the momentum going and wanting to to the BEST for him that we could...but I wonder. Is it too late? Will home ever truly be the same? I know and do not ever doubt the love that is shared between Mom, Dad, Squire & I...butI can't help but to worry. I am a Virgo if ever there was one, LOL. Just ask Mom abou the times they don't answer the phone!

I don't want ANY distance between us....in all the ways that count.

TOLD YOU I WAS IN A PENSIVE MOOD!

Lucky!

2007-10-10T15:25:00.000-04:00

There is an AWESOME clothing company called 'Boden'. It is based in the UK and has started to make it's way here...and the clothes are TDF. I ordered Xavier 2 really cool t-shirts from them this summer during a promotion because many mothers on the clothing web-community I go to are always going on and on about them (much like this sentence, LOL!)

Anyway, I love the quality of the shirts...just the softest, thickest knit jersey material and the drum set/guitar are appliqued..so well worth it to me...and let's face it. When you are trying to dress your son as nicely as your daughter...sometimes you have to think outside the box! Especially since my just-turned-3 year old is the size of a 7th grader(not really).

You are wondering where I am going with this, aren't you?

WELL....They have this promotion going right now that if you send them x amount of new addresses that FOR SURE aren't already on their list, you get $5 each! Seriously, after entering all of you reading (I am only 1/2 kidding...don't worry! You will only get catalogs!) I simly went down my street.

You are only supposed to be able to enter 4 at a time...I have done this for 2 months...so I call and GUESS WHAT? I have a $65 credit? I have no idea how this happened!

I also have 10% discount and free shipping card....

SO...I got this for Patton for $1.76. NOT BAD!

In other news...Mom (aka Queen Janis) also has been on a roll this week! Think lottery tickets are in order? LOL

My store closes at 9

2007-10-08T22:53:00.000-04:00

NOT 9:20. NOT 9:30. NOT 9:45!

Seriously...people are SO inconsiderate! I (very kindly) asked the 3 ladies if there was anything I could help them with..since "we closed about 5 minutes ago". Now, whether or not they could understand me is a different post altogether...see....we don't speak the same language.

Anyway, finally after closing one door, turning off the music/tv, running reports and intentionally sweeping around them they waltzed up the the register to spent their collective Gymbucks. The problem (beside the afore mentioned language barrier): They wanted to SPLIT the $125 in Gymbuck savings BETWEEN 3 of them. Are you cringing for me yet?

Yes...I had to help them figure up how much each could spend...minus the gymbuck and still help them get about 150 pieces for $41.25 each (insert sarcasm here).

It's just rude in my opinion. Do people just not care about the person working? It happens at our store ALOT and usually by people who conveniently "can't speak English"..(where is Allison when I need her, snicker).

Oh well...in brighter news, there is a cold front coming yeah~ It looks like The X. Man and Baby Squirrel might not have to Trick or Treat in swimsuits after all.

One more pic just cause I think they are so darn cute(especially the tall dark and handsome one in the 'Trucker hat'...Hubba Hubba!)

PUNKINS!

2007-10-08T10:55:00.000-04:00

So we went to get a few pumpkins yesterday..my kiddos were beside themselves with excitement! The odd thing is how HOT it is! In the 90's. Is it REALLY October? I have some really cute Fall/Halloween themed clothes for them but are they going to get to wear them??? WHAT IS THE DEAL?

Ok..rant over now.

A few pics

2007-10-04T07:23:00.001-04:00

It's been 7 years

2007-10-01T07:13:00.000-04:00

I can't seem to wrap my mind around it. 7 years since my sweet baby sister was murdered by a punk who found it necessary to run from the police since he was high. I normally try to not focus on the accident..I mean, we can't bring her back. I try to remember her laugh. Her "Whats up, Dike" Her desire to pick me up EVERYTIME I saw her. "Are you two Sisters? NO....YEESSS!~!" Her smile...laugh. The sound of her voice.

BUT sometimes...It still feels so fresh and raw. My parents, who I love more than anything...have NEVER been remotely the same (who am I kidding...neither have I). There are times I am in absolute despair. I remember the days before she died, life was great! Life is great now, too..but different. SO many things/people are not a part of my life now that were then. It sometimes doesn't seem real.

I am so lucky to have my husband, children, parents and brother still. I KNOW that...but is it so wrong to want her back? The life of our party is gone, so to speak and I don't like it! Brett was wonderful...and I really hope I keep her memory alive and well...

Sorry..I think this post has rambled away from me.

Do me a favor. Spread the word. If you knew Brett....go out today and fnd yourself a Krispy Kreme. Keep the Phat Girl Club alive and kicking!

Oh...

and if you DO drink...don't drive. It's simple.

*~* In Loving Memory of Brett Patton Ford 11/28/80-10/01/2000*~*

Do you like your job?

2007-09-27T14:34:00.000-04:00

I do. MOST of the time. I LOOOVVVEEE the discount. I have fun with my co-workers. It pays (sadly) almost as much a month as my FULL-TIME teaching job.
Those are the pros...but..I am sure you know they are coming: there are cons:

Tues. night was New Line Night...in the Gymboree world, as I have lived first hand for the last year, that means 'nightmare night'. OK....maybe not 'Nightmare' but definitely unpleasant. This week it was ME and 2 (brand spanking) NEW girls. OY! Seriously folks, I was about to pull my hair out! One of the new ones will eventually be somewhat a supervisor to me (she is a Full Time Asst. Mgr.) It would seem that her personality is very hard to read...I am not sure just how much I ticked her off by gently (or not!) telling her when something needed to be done. Not that (unless you have lived it) you would understand, but we had TONS of stuff to move, hardware to set...all while servicing customers!!

*let me interrupt here by saying...OK...I realize that many of you are 'professionals' and I am a teeny bit embarassed that I now work retail...but Look at my Dad. And brother! Folks...selling runs in my blood!!! Don't belittle the mundane! I make sure little Susie & Bobby look good for preschool, people! LOL...*

Anyway, the afore mentioned manager simply did...not much. I was working my tail off (I wish!) and would find her standing behind the cash register~! Or better yet, at the front of the store STANDING there doing NOTHING! Frustrated much? YES. I hope next week is better. I hope this new lady is different than she seems...I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt.

I really do like my job. Mr. Roboto wishes I didn't have to work....but Shhh. Don't tell him I would work anyway! Thats what it comes down to. We need for me to work, but it had to be flexible now that the babes have come along...so I found a job that would work with our schedule and keep me content....Just so long as nights like Tues. night don't turn into EVERYNIGHT!

I guess thats all.....Thanks for reading..and leaving me little messages. Tammy...you are SO right about 'what is normal'!

Love, C.

I hope you're hungry!

2007-09-26T14:29:00.000-04:00

Prime Rib coming up (OK...I PROMISE TO STOP USING THAT PHRASE!)

So...today was a great day for The X. Man. He talked to Grandmama on the phone and actually told her that his name is Xavier and that he is 3 years old. Also, he has a sister named Patton. Yeah!

So today, progress has been witnessed...it is tangible..I heard it. But, there are days NOT like today. There have been times that it seemed like Xavier didn't understand a single word I said. When you are a Mommy...yet..even a Mommy of a special needs child...you worry. You worry about so many things. Like: will he make friends? Will he ever be able to get married and have a normal life? Will he work somewhere besides Mcdonalds wiping the trays (please...I am seriously not picking fun!) This is my life now. I cry. ALOT. I KNOW I shouldn't, but I do. I love this little man with all my soul..and to imagine him hurt in ANY way....breaks up my heart in a million pieces.

I am thrilled with each new step he takes! He really is doing great, but it's the 'unknowns' that keep me awake at night. Thank God for his pre-school...they are really helping my little guy...they can ruin all the shirts they need to, LOL. Ps..the stains are barely noticable).

I don't want this post to be a downer...but maybe a glimpse into this world I live in. I know it's all going to be ok...but I can't help but worry sometimes.

In lighter news....YIKES...Someone needs to remind me to spell check!~ LOL...I was reading my post from yesterday and I can't believe how bad it is. I need to be kicked out of the 'Former Teachers Association'!

Love, C.

Oh so stylish!

2007-09-26T09:37:00.000-04:00

Part of me LOVES it...but there is an equal part (esp. for Baby Squirrel) that says "NO!!! TOO TRENDY" (are you reading, Corey???) HOWEVER...they look darn cute, so we are going with it! Thanks to Grandmama for Baby Squirrels ADORABLE mules and Lindsey for The X. Mans fun shirt!

Ugh....PAINT!

2007-09-25T13:43:00.000-04:00

So first of all...Baby Squirrel was in RARE form this morning. I think she was tired...or it could be that 'I' am tired. SO literally everything we did, she fought me!

Me:"Patton, lets go inside now"
Baby Squirrel: "No".

Me:"Patton...I said NOW, go indide and lets get your blanket".
Baby Squirrel: "No (while moving her car further in the yard).

Me:"Ok....N.O.W. GET INSIDE!
Baby Squirrel: "NOOOOO!" (By this point...she was about as FAR away from inside as her little car would take her and still be at home)

SO...I proceeded to pick her up and carry her inside....all while she was screaming like I had ripped her puppy's head off (yikes...that sounded SO horribly terrible..I promise I have NEVER ripped ANYTHING off of any harmless stuffed creature).

I think that exact same scenario happened: On the way into the store, on the way out of the store, on the way into store #2 for pictures, on the way out of store #2 and on the way in/out of preschool picking up Xavier. I am exhausted.

TO add to my frustration, as I approach Xavier's room, he comes out and asked "Where's pack pack?" (he named it by name ALL BY HIMSELF WITH NOT PROMPTING!!!!) I had left it at home (oops~!)and I noticed that he has paint all over him....ALL over. Sigh. I loved that shirt....I have it soaking in oxy...

I just can't be profound today. I couldn't sleep...so I am a little out of sorts. I promise tomorrow, I will be what all bloggers strive to be...but today, I am a Momy who needs a nap!

HEATHER: Thanks for the encouragement! TAMMY: WE LOVE YOU, TOO!!! Your scrapbooking looks awesome!!! LOVE the one for Uncle Jimmy!

The kiddos this morning 9/25

2007-09-25T09:44:00.000-04:00

On our way to School!

The X. Man

2007-09-24T14:48:00.001-04:00

Baby Squirrel

2007-09-24T14:45:00.001-04:00

Elmos Potty Time

2007-09-24T12:15:00.000-04:00

Wow. I bought a 'Potty' DVD. Will it help? Will it be more than something to watch for The X. Man & (eventually) Baby Squirrel?

This morning as I woke The X. Man up, he said "It's Dirty". Immediately, I look at the bed and realize he wet through his diaper (yuck!). So I asked him: "Xavier, are you WET"? I fully expected him at this point to just repeat me...but ....he said "YES"!!!!! Maybe you aren't getting the big picture here...he answered my question appropriately on his own.

This is big. B.I.G. I am very excited and am anxious to see what Elmo's Potty Time does for us.

I know you will be waiting on pins and needles...so stay tuned!~

Other news:

School Pic Day is NEXT TUESDAY! What should we wear??? OOPS!~ What should The X. Man wear?

Ok.Ok...I guess today is all COOL WHIP..but whatayagonnado?

Baby Squirrel is as precious as ever...except she wouldn't let me do piggies this morning. Right now she is dancing! I HEART HER!!!

Let me give this a try.

2007-09-23T15:19:00.000-04:00

Ok.

I can't believe I am doing this! I love reading blogs...and there are SEVERAL I read, but this is mine. MINE. I have NO idea if anyone other than me will read this.

Blogging is, I guess, what you allow it to be. Will it be raw and emotional and ~dare I say it~ TRUE? Or will it be fluff, a mere recounting of the day's business at hand? Prime Rib or Cool Whip?

Let's begin with me.

I am Chelsea. 31 (YIKES) and married with 2 kiddos. My husband will be from this point on: Mr. Roboto (hehe..snicker...) Just because he does a FABULOUS 'the Robot'. My precious babies are The X. Man (just turned 3) and Baby Squirrel (will be 2 in Dec.). Oh my....so much to say!

The X. Man was diagnosed with Autism in April of this year (does anyone smell Prime Rib?) and we are chugging along every day to make every effort to help him grow up healthy and happy. I feel pretty good about the choices we have made thus far..He started Pre-school this month and is having a blast. No matter...I am putty in the little guys hands....HOW is it possible to love someone so much?

My Baby Squirrel is just as sweet as Peach Cobbler! Sometimes I look at her and just cry..she is GORGEOUS and freakin adorable too....but has just a teeny tiny bit of attitude...Where did she get THAT? From Brett..I think. Brett was my baby Sister who was tragically killed by a drunk driver almost 7 years ago. OK....so it looks like my blog is leaning towards the Raw emotion...but maybe it's ok to have BOTH?

Mr. Roboto....is cute. And comfy. If I could crawl up on him and take a nap I would. He is wonderful...SOMETIMES (wink).

More later.....